I’ve pretty much recovered from the holiday preparations and start of the holiday. And my husband, who’s off for Good Friday, made matzah brei for breakfast, which was yummy. But my mind is still fragmented, and it’s spring according to the calendar and pink, yellow, blue, and light green colors abounding outside, in spite of the frost warnings this week. So, this week’s comments may feel fragmentary.
Below are the upcoming Torah and haftarah readings:
|April 19, Shabbat Chol HaMoed Pesach||Exodus 33:12 – 34:26 Moses sees the back of God then carves 2 more tablets. Renewal of covenant. Brief texts re: Sabbath, holidays, boiling a kid in its mother’s milk.||Num. 28:19-25 Holiday sacrifices. Same as first 2 days minus v. 16-18.||Ezekiel 36:37 – 37:14 [or 37:1-14]
Valley of the dry bones vision. Resurrection imagery.
|April 21, 7th day Pesach||Exodus 13:17-15:26 The splitting of the Re(e)d Sea, the Song at the Sea.||Num. 28:19-25 Ditto||II Samuel 22:1-51 David’s song of thanks for rescue from Saul et al. Also the Haftarah for Ha’azinu in the fall. Contains Psalm 18.|
|April 22, 8th day Pesach||Deuteronomy 15:19-16:17 Consecration of first born. Holidays: Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot.||Num. 28:19-25 Double ditto||Isaiah 10:32 – 12:6 Messianic vision, which we’ve been leading up to since Shabbat Shekalim.|
(I finally looked up how to insert hyperlinks.)
Excerpts from 2008: “As it is written in the Song of Songs (aka “Song of Solomon”), ‘For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land’ (2:12-13). ‘Turtle’ is Jacobean for turtledove. This book is traditionally and appropriately read on the Sabbath during Passover, chanted with a very pretty, spring-like melody. I recommend The Song of Songs: A New Translation by Ariel Bloch and Chana Bloch (paperback), which captures both the book’s lyric poetry and its restrained eroticism.” The Song of Songs can also be read allegorically as a romance between Israel and the Lord, and that is what you have to read if you depend on the translation in the Stone Edition.
For Reform Jews, Passover lasts 7 days, while the Conservative and Orthodox go for an eighth. On the eighth day, “(t)he Haftarah, Isaiah 10:32-12:6, one of my favorites, is filled end-of-days, messianic imagery – all those animals lying down together, with a small child to lead them – and so is an inspiring note on which to end the holiday.”
Shabbat shalom and Chag Sameach,
20 Things To Do With Matzah
Someone my daughter’s 2008 roommate worked with made posted this video in 2008, and it’s still there!
Failed Passover Promotions [written by Avi Korn]
10. US ARMY – ”THE ARMY OF ‘who knows ONE?”
9. Animal Awareness Passover Campaign – “Frogs are our friends, not a
8. American Red Cross – “This Passover, let’s make rivers of blood”
7. Lenox Hill OBGYN – “We won’t throw your newborn into the Nile”
6. Adoption Promotion Week – “Drop your unwanted children in a basket
in the NYC Reservoir, for less fortunate parents to find!”
5. D’Angelo’s Barber Shop: “Free lice check with every haircut”
4. Republic of China’s Population Control Agency – Death of the first
born commemorative pins
3. EBay: “Your Afikomen is worth a lot more than that”
2. RadioShack: “You’ve Got 4 questions, We’ve Got Answers”
1. Kosher For Passover Ex-Lax, now in new Matzah strength – “Ex-odus”
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get
Woody Allen, Without Feathers (1976)
Top Ten Signs you are at a DOCTOR’S SEDER
10. Family favorite jingle: “And the shank bone’s connected to the…”
9. His kittel is his usual lab coat
8. Considers the plague of Blood more of a windfall for the Red Cross
7. Promotes leaning to prevent choking. Shortly thereafter, chokes on marror.
6. Prescribes extra hot marror for sinus decongestion
5. Wonders how an outbreak of Ebola wasn’t rampant after plague of blood/frogs
4. Takes at least 3 emergency calls in the kitchen during maggid
3. Freely warns neighbors before eating matzo of pending constipation
2. D’var torah revolves around the week of Darkness impact on retinal sensory
1. Favorite Seder Pastime: Plague Victim Triage
Stop and Smell the Softener
I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck. I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air. Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season. She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener. — Contributed by George G. Busher
Quotes About Singing
“I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
― Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose? An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life
“I listened wide-eyed, stupid. Glowing by her voice in the dim light. If chocolate was a sound, it would’ve been Constantine’s voice singing. If singing was a color, it would’ve been the color of that chocolate.”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help
“Then the singing enveloped me. It was furry and resonant, coming from everyone’s very heart. There was no sense of performance or judgment, only that the music was breath and food.”
― Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith
Riddle Me This!
- What do skeletons say before they begin eating?
- Where do teenage skeletons go to class?
- Why don’t skeletons like to go to parties?
- How do you make a skeleton laugh?
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
- What do you call a skeleton who doesn’t like to get up in the morning?
- Why are skeletons always so calm?
- Bone appetit!
- High skull.
- They have no body to dance with.
- Tickle his funny bone.
- The trom-bone.
- Lazy bones.
- Because nothing gets under their skin.
(I saw this one on Facebook, posted by Ava W.)