Sometimes, in the Torah, it seems like the text is being deliberately lengthened so we can put off the description of an unpleasant incident as long as possible. Did we really need all twelve identical tribal gift descriptions last week in Naso? Then this week, in Beha’alotcha, we spend the first three chapters of five on loose ends that need tying up before the Israelites actually set out. Only when we get to Chapter 11 do we get some foreshadowing of what is to come. Spoiler alert: It’s not “happily ever after.” The exciting and inspiring activities preceding the march give way to the harsh reality of life in the wilderness, as lived by a large group of frightened ex-slaves.
Let’s take a look at the activities preceding the march. Aaron lights the Menorah as instructed. [This links the portion to the haftarah, Zechariah 2:14-4:7, which includes Zechariah’s vision of a future Menorah and is also read on Chanukah.] The Levites are consecrated, a purification process that involves sprinkling with the water of purification (the mixture containing red heifer ashes), a full-body shave, immersion of their clothes, and (naturally) sacrifices. Pesach Sheni, a second Passover, a month after the “real” one, is instituted or those who were unable to participate in the first because ritual impurity, e.g., contact with a corpse. The general form of a march is outlined. A cloud by day and fire by night over the Tabernacle will tell them when and where to go (Biblical GPS). Two silver trumpets, rather more impressive than rams’ horns, will be used to summon the people. The order of march, now including the Levite houses, is specified.
Jethro, aka Reuel, father-in-law of Moses, decides the situation is stable enough for him to return to Midian and he does, though Moses wants him to stay. (I wonder what would have happened – or not happened – had he stayed?) The Israelites set out on the 20th day of the second month of the second year. Verses 10:35-36 are set off by inverted letter nuns , like brackets, in the scroll (maybe indicating the text is from a different source, or even another book?); they have become part of our Torah service, when we take out the Torah from the Ark (Vay’hi binsoa…) and when we put it back (Uv’nucho yomar) the Torah. The Israelites go on their way, and it should be smooth sailing (marching) to the Promised Land.
Then, with Chapter 11, there’s an abrupt shift in mood. The people start complaining, the Lord sends a fire that destroys the outer edge of the camp. The people turn to Moses for help. Moses prays to the Lord. The fire stops. This is a pattern we will see over and over and over again. The complaint varies, the Divine punishment varies, but the Israelites survive, except for those who don’t.
Next, the people whine about a steady diet of manna, whining about the diet they remember from Egypt: meat, fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. Seriously, would slaves have had a really satisfying diet? But we can empathize. Food is linked to all sorts of fond memories, well beyond Proust’s madeleine. The Israelites’ nostalgia for the food was as much for the sense of stability and certainty that was now missing. No matter what they had been told about this Promised Land, it had not yet materialized.
Everyone is getting cranky. Even Moses protests having to care for the people, like a wet nurse (11:11-15). It’s too much for him. At least this is a valid complaint. The Lord instructs Moses to select 70 elders who will receive some of the spirit that is on him and share his burden. And the people get their meat, enough quail to eat for a month (“until it comes out of your nose!” 11:20). The people gorge themselves on quail and then suffer a divine plague (food poisoning?). Some die.
Miriam and Aaron are not immune to the bad mood. They gossip about slandering their brother’s Cushite wife and whine that Moses isn’t the only prophet in the family. They get personally chewed out by the Lord. Miriam gets tzara’at (the skin affliction that is not leprosy), a condition which is forever after associated with slander. Only Miriam, not Aaron. (See my comments in “Aaron: Teacher’s Pet?”)
Despite the miracles of the not-so-distant past, the Israelites’ growing discontent is understandable to us. The big projects that occupied them are done. The Tabernacle has been built, furnished, and dedicated. The priestly vestments are made. The priests and Levites ae trained and inaugurated. Even the camp layout and order of march have been defined. What’s next is much less so.
Rabbi Levi Avtzon provides perceptive comments about kvetching in his essay, “Kvetch!”:
“Kvetching is one step up from slavery. A slave cannot kvetch because of fear of the whip. More importantly, the slave mentality breeds apathy and a clogging of the emotional valves. It’s too painful, so it’s easier to disengage.
“The first step out of slavery is to release suppressed feelings, performing emotional bypass surgery to unclog the indifference that has crept into the heart. The first step to freedom is to re-humanize ourselves.
“Once the heart begins to feel, it will inevitably feel positivity and optimism. However, at first, the predominant feelings (in most people) will be those of pain, loss, and confusion as one struggles to adjust to the new reality. This is considered progress… Historically, Jews have mastered the art of kvetching…
“We kvetched to keep our hearts open and our emotions flowing. Kvetching has been our national safety net against emotional death. Kvetching is the first step out of slavery and a way of ensuring that we don’t enter a soul-destroying slave mentality.”
Avtzon points out that we – and the Israelites – have to get beyond kvetching. Not just complain but move forward. Act.
Act how? Most of the time, the Israelites are just encamped, not marching, not moving forward. They have little to do but gather manna and grow increasingly anxious about what lies ahead of them. After more than a year, they do not have strong enough faith to deal with their doubts and fears about their future, even if it’s in a promised land. As we’ll read next week, that leads to disaster.
Shabbat shalom and zei gezunt,
Irene
———————-
———————-
Go Fetch (oldie but goodie)
Horowitz buys a dog, trains him, and invites his friend Epstein over to see him. As soon as Epstein enters the house, Horowitz points to a newspaper on the floor and tells the dog, “Fetch!”
The dog climbs on the couch and wags his tail. Then he starts to frown, and looking up at Horowitz, he says, “Let me tell you, you think it’s easy being a dog, wagging my tail all the time, acting friendly to get your attention, and eating that dreck that you feed me? And walking me twice a day — you really think that’s enough?”
Epstein is stunned. He’s never seen anything like it. “This is unbelievable. Absolutely amazing. Your dog can talk! You told him to fetch the newspaper, and here he is, sitting on the couch, talking to us like a regular person!”
“I know,” says Horowitz apologetically. “He’s not fully trained yet. He thought I said Kvetch!”
———————-
https://www.just-one-liners.com/topic/gossip/
Quotes about Gossip
Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor. Anonymous
If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 – 1980) author & wit
I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.
Walter Winchell (1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.
Errol Flynn (1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
In Hollywood now when people die they don’t say, “did he leave a will?” but “did he leave a diary.”
Liza Minnelli (1946 – ) American actress & singer
———————-
https://www.gardendigest.com/veget.htm
Vegetables, etc.
Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo
- To my favorite honeydew, do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you, with your turnip nose, and radish face.
You are a peach. If we cantaloupe, lettuce marry.
Weed make a swell pear.
– Author Unknown - Prescription for an English garden:
The garden should be adorned with roses and lilies, the turnsole, violets, and mandrake; there you should have parsley, cost, fennel, southern-wood, coriander, sage, savory, hyssop, mint, rue, dittany, smallage, pellitory, lettuces, garden-cress, and peonies. There should also be beds planted with onions, leeks, garlic, pumpkins and shallots. The cucumber growing in its lap, the drowsy poppy, the daffodil and brank-ursine ennoble a garden. Nor are there wanting, if occasion further thee, pottage-herbs: beets, herb-mercury, orache, sorrel and mallows, anise, mustard, white pepper and wormwood do good service to the gardener.
– Alexander of Neckham, Of the Nature of Things, 1187
———————-
———————-
https://www.scarymommy.com/lightbulb-jokes
Lightbulb Jokes
- How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, or two? One… or two? - How many fishermen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but you should have seen the size of that lightbulb! - One.
How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb? - Scientists have determined how many people it takes to screw in a lightbulb.
It’s less than to screw in a heavy bulb. - How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but it takes nine years. - How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?
That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It’s all relative.
Torah Portion Humor Weekly 
Thanks for the laughs today Irene!